THE HEART OF A FRIEND

You know, friendship is something that all of us want in our lives to some extent, I believe.  Even the most introverted introvert probably wants one good friend, just one.

Something that I have noticed over the years of being married to Chris and living in the "world of quadriplegia" is that friendship changes a lot.  When you are not paralyzed friendships can be easy to develop and easy to keep.  But when you are paralyzed part of the relationship with a friend involves you asking for help when you don't want to have to ask for help, and involves them giving help when they don't necessarily feel like it.  For instance, for chris to go surfing with his friends, one of them has to meet us at the car, carry him into his beach chair or carry him onto the beach.  They need to be willing to go to a beach that is accessible enough for Chris to get out there which means they have to be willing to move from a "favorite" beach spot.  We need to ask for help carrying regular beach bags and medical supplies for the occasional "unexpected" need.   They need to be willing to help Chris get repositioned in his chair or do pressure reliefs while he's in his beach wheelchair (so that he doesn't get a pressure sore wound and have to lie in bed for weeks trying to heal).  They need to understand that he can't regulate his body temperature, so he may get overheated much faster than them and have to leave early, or he may be too cold to stay for a long time.  He may need help putting shirts on or off, getting water when needed or eating if they are there long.  And so on.....

This is not specific to Chris, this is just a brief glimpse, a small example of being friends with someone who is disabled.  In a lot of ways it is a "normal" friendship, but in many ways it is VERY different.  

This is what makes the friends that we have met, and kept over the years, so powerful and precious.  We have met some remarkably giving people everywhere we have lived.....Virginia, Texas, NC, and now SC.   In the past few months we have met some new friends who love to surf and have made it their mission to help their friends enjoy the waves too.  

These top pictures are Luke and Chris catching the first-ever waves on Chris' new board.  Luke, Brandon, James, and their awesome wives Erin, Kara, and Ellen have gone as far as starting an organization to raise money to buy adaptive surfboards for people with disabilities.  They have been instrumental in creating the adaptive surfing division in Eastern Surfing Association's surf competitions this summer.  They just want their friends to be able to enjoy what they enjoy.....the sun and the surf.

Chris tells me all the time how great it feels just to be out of his wheelchair without something pressing on his back.  Normally he has his back pressing against something 24 hours per day - his wheelchair, the bed, or a recliner.  BUT in water it's totally different.  FREEDOM!  The freedom that God is giving him now through these amazing friends is incredible.  The freedom to float, the freedom to move in totally different ways, the freedom to ride and feel the power of the ocean again.  There was nothing like it for him as a kid and teenager and there's nothing like it for him now.  Surfing is in his blood and he's FINALLY BACK!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thank you.

BEHIND THE SCENES

So, I don't know if it's like this for other people with disabilities, but for us there's always a lot going on behind the scenes.  This week leading up to the event Chris' allergies got much worse, he got a pressure sore from his wheelchair, he got a UTI, his shoulder and upper back pain got much worse, adjustments had to be made on his surfboard (elbow pads added, wedge and handle bars moved back and fiberglassed finished at 10:30 the night before), and Chris had to line up several people to be on his "team".  Those on his team had to be flexible with their schedules because we weren't able to find out what time he would surf until late the night before.  

The day of the event, when we arrived Chris was getting ready to get into his beach wheelchair but had some unexpected medical hiccups that Chris had to endure.  

BUT we made it!!!!!

These are our good friends who took care of the kids and Zoey the Wonder Dog for us while Chris was in the water.  Couldn't have done it at all without them!

Alethia started out with some remaining ear pain from an ear infection earlier in the weight, but once she got medicine she was back at play!!!

Chris is such a gentleman.......we have to bring his beach wheelchair with us on a trailer hooked to the back of our van.  Chris knows that this stresses me out (not sure why, it's not complicated!), so he asked our friend below to come the night before the event and hook up the trailer so that I wouldn't even have to THINK about how to do it!  He always takes care of me!

It was great!  Below are the 3 surfers in the adaptive surf project....it was a great day.....awesome watching!

Everyone was all smiles!

AFTER THE WAVES.....

I'm just guessing.....but I think he had fun.....what do you think??!!??

Awesome friends came to support!  This is Chris' friend from college who drove 2 hours just to be with Chris for a few hours to surf.  Awesome dedication!

Gramps came of course, to cheer, support, and buy ice cream cones!

I love this handsome man!  I mean seriously, he's hot!

And Zoey is finally reunited with her Chris!  Poor thing, she was anxiously awaiting his return each time he went out in the water.  She did a great job though....and once he came out of the water she didn't want to be anywhere but planted firmly on Chris' lap!!!

RIDING HIS FIRST WAVE

Chris rode right past me on the first wave....

Turned around......

And went right back out......

Have fun Sweetheart!!!!

CHRIS' TURN!!!

Caleb finished....now it's Chris' turn!  

Their heats were back to back which was super exciting!

They got to warm up together and then got to compete together. 

It takes a little adjustments for Chris to get on the board right.....poor guy, while everyone chats about how exciting it is for him to be on the board, he's stuck waiting in a nose-plant on the board!  He's SUCH a strong person.....he has to endure so many "little" annoyances that are not "little" at all!

Ok, they got him on and are getting closer.....

Looking good....getting elbows lined up and arms under the bar......

Now he's headed out!

Go get em Babe!!

TRAINING ZOEY

Rick, from Canine Angels told us that the first thing to happen when you get a service dog is to establish the bond between the new owner and the dog.  Once that bond is strong, then you work on specific training.  Zoey knows a lot of commands already, but she has to learn to follow Chris' lead instead of Rick's.  

Chris has been learning so much and has done an awesome job with Zoey.  One of her commands is to come up onto his lap.  She did this one pretty easily.....

He says her name to get her attention, gives the command....

She follows and comes up......

and gets love!!

Learning to walk with Zoey and not get the leash tangled was a little challenging.   Making sure that she walks far enough away from the chair to safely avoid the wheels was a good lesson but she's learned that pretty quickly.  Chris sometimes gets frustrated with the leash since he can't hold it with his hands.  He wraps it around his right wrist but that's the arm that he doesn't have any movement in the wrist.  He has to use the right arm so that he can have his left arm free to drive the wheelchair.  The leash gets caught sometimes on different parts of the wheelchair but so far he and Zoey have worked it out.  She's been amazing about waiting patiently for Chris to untangle the leash, or get the leash free from various corners of the wheelchair.  Sometimes if the leash slides off his wrist he just calls her up on his lap and is able to use HIS "paws" (fists) and teeth to get the leash, wrap it around his wrist, and have to climb back down to continue the walk.  They both have really learned what works for them as a team....and it's been really fun to watch!

When he needs to remind her that he is in charge, Chris calls her up onto his lap and uses his wrists to flip her onto her back and holds her down to tell her that he is Alpha.  She usually responds by listening on the first time to the next command and licking his face or his hands to show her love.  So sweet!

Yup.....I'd say they've bonded well!

LOVE DRIVES OUT FEAR FOR ALETHIA

Alethia has been afraid of dogs her entire life.  She's never had a bad experience with a dog, she's just always been afraid - the kind of fear where she could do nothing but cry and stiffen every muscle in her body at the sight of a dog.  

This was another reason why Chris felt a small dog was best for him and for our family.  He knew she was not ready for a big dog and that a big dog would need more exercise.  A little dog, however, could get exercise with him or with the kids......if it was OK with Alethia.  Chris had several discussions with Alethia and promised her that he would not get a dog until she was ready and actually WANTED a dog.  She came to Chris during the application process and told him she was ready.  Ready to meet the dogs and ready to have a dog if Daddy wanted one.  She really loves her Daddy.  And now she really loves her Zoey!  She wants to play with Zoey and walk Zoey every chance she gets!

Mr. Rick has been so kind and good with both Caleb and Alethia.  He knew that Alethia was really afraid of dogs and has takent eh time to help her with this.  She wasn't afraid of Zoey, even from the beginning, but every time he visits he brings all of his dogs (usually between 12-14 dogs at any given time!).   He told Alethia, that if she wanted, he would introduce her to 1 dog of her choice each time he visited us.   The first visit after we received Zoey, she chose Foxy.  Oh Foxy.  Such a WONDERFUL dog!  Foxy was found on the side of a road and rescued by Mr. Rick and training to be a service dog.  He was brilliant in how he helped Alethia.  He held Foxy upside down on his lap and asked Caleb and Alethia to point to different body parts......he started with Foxy's tail, back legs, head, ears, eyes, and eventually worked his way all the way to Foxy's tongue and teeth!!!!  Alethia and Caleb happily put their hands right in her mouth!  Not shocking at all for Caleb - but what a switch for Alethia!!!

Before we knew it she was hugging Foxy, cuddling with Foxy, talking to Foxy, playing with Foxy - AMAZING!

The next visit she met King - a golden retriever.....

Next visit Caleb got to choose and he chose Diva - a beautiful grey pitbull.  

By the 3rd visit Mr. Rick could let several dogs in at a time and Alethia was so focused on meeting the new dog that she didn't even think of being afraid of the others who she already met.

Back to Foxy for some more love.....

Caleb and King taking a nap together!

Rick and Canine Angels continue to bless our family!  In so many ways!

ZOEY'S STORY

Just like every person has a story and a journey that they have travelled.....so does every dog!

Zoey's story is unique as well.....

When Zoey was a puppy, her first owners also had a big dog.  Unfortunately for our precious Zoey, they allowed their big dog to use Zoey as a chew toy.  Horrible.   Finally, the dog had broken one of Zoey's legs and torn ligaments in the other leg.  The vet said it would require surgery to heal and the owner's chose to leave her on the door of a shelter when the shelter was not even open!  But this sad moment in her life was about to bring her to a whole new world.....

Rick Kaplan, head of Canine Angels, was called to come look at Zoey.  He chose to adopt her and paid for all of her medical expenses.  She stayed in a foster home while healing from surgery where the family gave her therapy in the bathtub to get her legs stronger and stronger - brilliant!

Once she was strong, she returned to live with Rick and he trained her to be a service dog.....along with the rest of his 12-14 dogs.  Rick fell in love with Zoey and his intention was to keep her as a permanent member of his pack with a few of the other dogs.  However.....Zoey hadn't met Chris Skinner yet......

Rick's  philosophy is that the dog chooses the owner.  Chris wanted a smaller dog that he could really cuddle with and feel.  He met with Rick just a few times and every time Zoey would hop onto his lap and stay there for the entire visit while the other dogs walked around or came to say hi.   Rick saw this bond and decided to give Zoey to Chris.  

The next step was to pay the fee to have Zoey.  We needed $5,000 to get her which covered her medical expenses.  Chris really wanted Zoey, but we weren't really in  a place where we could pay what was needed for her.  

A few of our neighbors knew we were talking to Rick and needed money to get Zoey.  They took it upon themselves to write a letter and send it to everyone in our new development asking for folks to help us raise the money for her.  Would you believe that they wrote the letter on Thursday and raised over $5,000 by the following Tuesday!!!  5 days!!!!  And the money kept coming in which has continued to help pay for her vet bills and care.  What an amazing blessing!!  People in our community who had never met us gave money....one man even walked over to donate on his moving day when he was unloading his moving truck!  He said he got the letter and it seemed like a good thing to do!!  WOW!

So this precious little wonder dog is ours!!!!  Zoey Skinner!

OUR NEWEST FAMILY MEMBER

ZOEY THE WONDER DOG!!!!

In November we were proud to welcome the newest member of the Skinner family into our home.

Chris was blessed to receive Zoey as a service dog from Canine Angels.  

The story of getting Zoey is awesome!  

We have had a dog before but it was challenging for Chris with his paralysis to become the Alpha.  For a dog to be safe and for Chris to enjoy a dog it really needs to be obedient to Chris' voice the first time he says a command.  It was hard for us to do this ourselves. 

So, over the years, Chris has gradually given up on the dream of having a dog of his own.  

But......Canine Angels.....

Chris was introduced to Rick Kaplan, of Canine Angels in the fall.  Rick rescues dogs, trains them to be service dogs, and then gives them to veterans and first responders for free!!

Since Chris was in the Army before his accident, he qualified.  Our neighbors have one of his dogs and that is how Chris originally met Rick.  He was hesitant to apply for a while but then went for it!

I'm so glad that he did!

What a wonderful addition to the Skinner family!!!!

CHRIS ON THE BEACH

It's sooooo much fun living at the beach......I just don't think I can describe it well enough to truly convey how much I enjoy it!    

When we first got to Myrtle Beach Chris didn't have a way to get onto the beach.  Other beaches have paved walkways out to the water at various locations, but Myrtle Beach does not.  However, they do have some Beach Wheelchairs that are free to use for anyone who needs assistance getting onto the beach.    They are manual chairs that must be pushed by someone else, but they get you on the beach!  So was great!

Because Chris is so tall, he's not comfortable sitting in one of these beach wheelchairs and needs a chest strap to keep his balance fully.  So he decided to get into a regular beach chair.  We found one with a tall backrest, put the cushion from his wheelchair onto the beach chair and then found help to lift him from the beach wheelchair into the regular beach chair.   The beach chair was a great idea because he was "level" with everyone else.  He wasn't sitting lower or higher than everyone else, just sitting at the same height.  The kids' LOVED IT.  They love having easy access to their Daddy physically and sitting on the sand in a regular beach chair was it!!!

Of course we had to do regular pressure reliefs to help Chris move around in different positions so that he didn't develop any wounds from having too much pressure over any part of his body.   It's so easy for him to develop wounds or pressure sores.  So he has to be very careful about how much time he spends in any one position.

But what an awesome day was had.....and many, many more this summer......enjoying the salt and the sand of the beach! 

I love this man.